So dear-hearts,
Today I am reminded of an age old question that has been around for years and years. Something that most couples (gay and straight alike) have struggled with.
If there is no trust, can love survive?
So here is my take on it; with me, trust is earned not given. So of course when I first meet you, I'm sure as hell not gonna give you the keys to my car and say drive, or the key to my house and say stop by whenever. No, it doesn't work like that. Trust is something that once you get, its easy to lose. And most of the time that comes from lying and or cheating. There is no excuse for lying at all. Once you lie, everything you said from that point on and everything you said before is in question.
Nevertheless, with infidelity, there is a rising issue of whether or not to end the relationship over it. For most couples, its no conversation, its over. But for others, its a struggle. Once you cheat, the trust is betrayed and even shot out to hell. You question who calls your lover, who your lover is chatting with online, if your lover is REALLY going to the store, and so on and so on.
To fix this, you must understand that there are two types of cheating; intentional and unintentional. Intentional is when you make plans behind your lover's back, telling the other party this is when you're free and this is where ya'll should meet. And engage in pursuing it to the end. Unintentional cheating is very rare but very much real. ( Hey,we all are human and we all have flaws and weaknesses.) That is when you go some place and are seduced. Hard to believe but real. Its hard to repel when your buttons are pushed to the max and your physical self takes over your subconscious self. It's harmless but it's still cheating.
But it's hard to decipher the two types of cheating. Most gay men think that cheating is cheating. Just think about it for a second, have you ever had someone cheat on you intentional and you found the apology to be rehearsed and bland? And have you ever had someone cheat on you unintentionally and their apology was honestly sincere? Or vice versa? Things happen for a reason and everything that happens is to test where your mind is. Forgiveness is a big part of growing up. But choosing to forgive doesn't mean love is enough to keep the relationship going.
However, if it is, you must work to fix the issue at hand. If you know your weak when it comes to going to parties or the club, invite your lover to go along with you. If they can't come, don't go at all. Refrain from any websites or videos that weakens your defense of monogamy. When all else seems lost, develop a support systems. Friends and family that will help keep you from doing anything stupid.
When you honestly try to fix a mistake that you made, trust is the reward given. Now don't we all want that trust?
Today I am reminded of an age old question that has been around for years and years. Something that most couples (gay and straight alike) have struggled with.
So here is my take on it; with me, trust is earned not given. So of course when I first meet you, I'm sure as hell not gonna give you the keys to my car and say drive, or the key to my house and say stop by whenever. No, it doesn't work like that. Trust is something that once you get, its easy to lose. And most of the time that comes from lying and or cheating. There is no excuse for lying at all. Once you lie, everything you said from that point on and everything you said before is in question.
Nevertheless, with infidelity, there is a rising issue of whether or not to end the relationship over it. For most couples, its no conversation, its over. But for others, its a struggle. Once you cheat, the trust is betrayed and even shot out to hell. You question who calls your lover, who your lover is chatting with online, if your lover is REALLY going to the store, and so on and so on.
To fix this, you must understand that there are two types of cheating; intentional and unintentional. Intentional is when you make plans behind your lover's back, telling the other party this is when you're free and this is where ya'll should meet. And engage in pursuing it to the end. Unintentional cheating is very rare but very much real. ( Hey,we all are human and we all have flaws and weaknesses.) That is when you go some place and are seduced. Hard to believe but real. Its hard to repel when your buttons are pushed to the max and your physical self takes over your subconscious self. It's harmless but it's still cheating.
But it's hard to decipher the two types of cheating. Most gay men think that cheating is cheating. Just think about it for a second, have you ever had someone cheat on you intentional and you found the apology to be rehearsed and bland? And have you ever had someone cheat on you unintentionally and their apology was honestly sincere? Or vice versa? Things happen for a reason and everything that happens is to test where your mind is. Forgiveness is a big part of growing up. But choosing to forgive doesn't mean love is enough to keep the relationship going.
However, if it is, you must work to fix the issue at hand. If you know your weak when it comes to going to parties or the club, invite your lover to go along with you. If they can't come, don't go at all. Refrain from any websites or videos that weakens your defense of monogamy. When all else seems lost, develop a support systems. Friends and family that will help keep you from doing anything stupid.
When you honestly try to fix a mistake that you made, trust is the reward given. Now don't we all want that trust?
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