When Should You Let Go?

I had a dear-heart ask me,

"When do you know it's time to let go?"

So I am going to give a few choices; you know its time when he stops calling and returning your calls. When you talk to him and you get a feeling that he is just trying to find small talk. When he makes excuses on why he can't see you. Dumb excuses. When you feel tired and worn out. When you find somebody else to replace him. Any of these choices are a good starter.

Never give a man so much power to where he has you at home thinking about him 23/7, crying over him every minute, hating him every time his name is spoken, or even contacting him over and over again for no reason. This shifts the power in his favor and he knows that as long as he has you like this, he has you period. Let it go before it gets like this. Or even transfer the energy to him and have his ass moping over you, crying over you and calling you over and over. Baby, cause you are far more FABOLOUS than any person can fathom. If you want them to know steak is cooking, you gotta let them HEAR it sizzling.

And know that God allows things to happen for a reason, and people to come and go (and sometimes stay) for a reason. What you need to do is find that reason, deal with it, accept it and move on. Extract all the good and positive thing this man brought to you and the relationship and hold on to that. Let that empower you to forgive and move on. Keep the smile for public and deal with the hurt in private. And I assure you that everything will be better. Any thoughts?

Boys 2 Men

So my question today, dear-hearts, is;
"WHY CAN'T MEN BE MEN AND NOT BOYS?"

[Now, not all men act like boys. There are a slim percent that actually don't play games, that don't toy with your mind, and don't lie just to cover their ass. But my focus today is on the men who do act like boys.]

One of the first people I met when I relocated to Oakland was a guy by the name of Marshall. He was very stable financially, had a house in the hills, nice ass car, and I really enjoyed his company. However, he also had a boyfriend. But I figured we could just be hang out buddies and I wouldn't cross the line into lover's at all. Nevertheless, I did manage to fucking develop an attachment to him. (Damn, Pisces.) And he knew this. So for a hot minute we hung out and it was great. Until that day.

He gets a call from one of his "friends" in San Fran, and asks me if its alright if we go pick him up and take him home. So I very much obliged and decided it would be fun to meet the people in his life. Well, we get to The Castro and this feminine Asian looking fellow prances over to the car and gets in. Immediately, I shell up and shut down. There was a spirit of jealousy already bubbling in my soul. But I was very cordial and only spoke when I was asked a question. I thought we were taking him home, so I didn't really show how I was feeling, until we landed at the mall....all three of us. They walk in front of me, cupcaking, and I'm following behind wondering why I just don't get on the BART and go home. After an hour of vomiting a little in my mouth from watching the two, we go eat. However, the bitch is coming out of me now. I abruptly tell Marshall I am not hungry and I will not eat.

I felt like, why isn't this fellow home yet? I thought this was going to be me and him. But I notice that I'm transparent and went to the bathroom to wash my face and try to get it together. I go back to the table and Marshall is sipping on some Thai drink and asked his friend if he wanted to try. He agrees and tasted it. After that, Marshall asked me if I wanted to try and I'm like, "Your kidding, right?"

So the night ends, and Marshall decides to take me home first. I stay in Oakland and the fellow stays in San Fran. We were just in San Fran, so what sense does that make? But I digress. The next day, I apologize for my apparent actions and he accepted my apology. Later on, I ask when can I see him again. He replies, tomorrow. Tomorrow never came. Days go by, I ask him again. He replies the same answer. Yet, the time never came.

So three months go by and he doesn't say much but "I'm at work, I will talk to you later." So I decided to ask one more time and see if the answer would be the same. I ask, "Why has it been three months and we haven't hung out?"
He replies,"I work and travel a lot."
"Really? Well, when you came back from Puerto Rico, you had almost a week and a half before you went back to work." I tore that lie down.
"Well, I have a boyfriend."
"You had one when I first met you." Uh-huh, try that again.
"Well, he is out of school now and wants to spend a lot more time together."
So my question is, if that was the case, why not just tell me THAT instead of, 'we will hang tomorrow' and tomorrow never happens? I figured that one learns when three months go by, that the person is no longer interested in seeing you again. He asked me, (before I blocked him,) why I wasn't going to date anymore.

Well, my answer is Marshall, because of men like you, who "work and travel a lot."

High School Shadows

I begin to realize why older gentlemen have such a hard time talking to me, let alone trusting me. Its the mind set that these younger ones have and the ones a few years older than me, that are still in this high school mentality. They feel that because they graduated, it automatically makes them "GROWN".

OMG!! DAREST I SAY THE DREADED WORD OF THE FALL OF HUMANITY.

GROWN!

I believe these youngins are in a rush to grow up so fast, they feel that now because they can vote and legally buy cigarettes, they are a grown "adult." Don't fool yourself, you are NOT grown right out of high school. Hell, I'm not fully grown yet. I've gone through (and still going through,) my share of life experiences that will aid my continuance of growing. But one thing I am certain of is that, I am a man. I am an adult. But I am not fully and completely grown. And I feel that these kids don't realize that. Being grown and being an adult are two separate entities. They don't go hand in hand right out of high school.


Being grown isn't a physical merit. Just because you have your own place, your own car, a good paying job, and degrees makes you grown. No baby, it only means you have a sense of responsibility. Being grown is a constant journey that shows its fruits through [get ready] MATURITY. If you feel you have to break someone down cuz they don't have what you have, you are not mature. If you have to argue that you are 19 and grown and lists the merits why, you are not mature. If you have to argue that you are 25 and grown and lists the merits why, you are not mature. A mature person tells someone politely that they are not going to entertain this mess and ends the conversation before the argument starts.

So I hope and pray that these teenagers get it through their brains that life really hits like a tsunami once you leave home for good. It is the lessons of life that help you understand your growing process. Remember that and I assure you that things will become easier. Everything happens for a reason.

Mighty Survivor

So dear-hearts,

Today ends a week of many adventures. But it has also been a week of many enlighten encounters. I have been to my lowest moments and have struggled harder than I have any where I lived. But baby, I'm still here.

They say when one door closes, another opens. {I hate being in the hallway} But that is exactly what seemed to go down. I lost one job to gain another one. One that helps jump start my high income career path. I have never worked for any employer that the starting salary is more than a car payment, student loan bill and rent combined. I'm too excited about that one.

{ I work in San Fran }

If that wasn't enough, I had gone the whole week with nothing but lets see....2 minus 3, carry the 1...times 0.....I had 38 cent to my name. If I didn't meditate my ass off and pray till something happened, as the Christians would say. I came home from another interview and checked my account and what happens? A gift for being with Western Union for a minute, I have a deposit of 13 dollars. Hey, that's money I ain't have. Shit, when you get down to your last dime, surely step back and let God do it. Or whoever your higher power is.

{ OMG...THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT! }

But my week had its many eye opening experiences along with false accusations on my name. I still press on and know that as long as you stand in the truth, nothing else matters. I can only have faith that, just as I was told, Karma will have its turn and the truth will appear. Hopefully, sooner than later. But the way of the universe is, that I will never know that the truth hit them. But I honestly don't care. My life is far from miserable and I am gonna enjoy my weekend to come and prepare for the work week. O how good that sounds....