Friends, Dating and Inbetween

Most people who are stuck on one definition of relationships are in for nothing more than heartbreak, heartache and confusion. There are steps to getting to know someone, whether that ends up romantically or just platonically, so don't kid yourself to thinking there isn't. When you first meet someone, you are at a cross road for a decision. Do I want to be with this person or do I just want to be friends, or even do I want to deal with them? Whatever the answer is, the underlying reason is the same, 'let me get to know this person better'. When that happens, you understand what you want from person A and proceed to go for it. The confusion and whatnot happens when person B wants something different. Before I continue let me clear something up.

Once you answer the basic question of wanting to deal with this person, if you are trying to be romantically involved with person B then you must understand that there are steps:

• First, for any relationship to flourish as well as you dream of, it is imperative that you start out as friends. This being said, its almost impossible to get hurt if the other says he isn't feeling you on that level and would want to remain......friends.
• Secondly, the term 'talking to' is the same as 'dating'. Here you are still single and still free to mingle and talk to, or date, whomever. Respect needs to arise and inform said people of each other so if a relationship does happen between one of you, there is no, 'Well why didn't you tell me?' drama.
• Then, once you see that you really like this person and you guys mesh well, you enter the stage of a relationship. Here, it is illegal in the relationship handbook to continue your ties with others. Or in layman's term, cheating, since being in a relationship is a commitment, not a game.

So before any of this takes place, understanding and openness is the key to a lasting friendship if nothing else. This is essential if person A is talking to a person B and C and it just so happens that person B and C are close friends. Now, in the technical sense of this situation its perfectly fair and nothing wrong with dating people who know each other. I mean, come on, we live in the same area, we are bond to know the same people. The issue, however, arises, when one person doesn't like that you're talking to their friend. Most people would wonder if there was any past feelings between the friends B and C and ask why is it an issue. Most people would say, person A is single so get over it. However, in the gay sense of things, people claim other people and EXPECT everyone else to abide by these rules and if they are not kept, then its marked messy and you are marked a bad person.

The truth of the matter is that life is 10% of things that happen to us and 90% of how we respond to it. If you end a friendship over someone you are interested in who chose your friend, that makes you the weak one and not them. Build a bridge, accept their happiness and move on. I mean, if it was some other Joe Blow off the street, would it really matter or would you still have a friend?

Exactly.