Sunday, April 03, 2011
So I mean I figure that if I want to establish myself in this writing/blogger world, I might as well, um, maybe start writing. More writing that is *wink*. So what better way to start back on it than doing a reality style blog entry every now and then? Its like the most brilliant plan I have ever come up with. Don’t laugh. I am dead ass serious. And you get to see how I really talk when I am not thinking of correct word usage and trying to impress the big people. And by ‘big people’ I mean my Facebook friends.
Okay, so I’m in Target and I am getting ready to start on my ‘Vision Board’ that I had read in the book called ‘The Secret’. It’s a book about the laws of attraction and how what you put out in the universe will come back to you. So putting positive energy and words out there, you get positive things back to you. You get the picture. Well, I going down the aisle with the bulletin boards and going through the piles of overpriced ones till I found the cheapest board. And when you find something cheap at Target, its really actually expensive compared to places like, oh I don’t know, maybe, Wal-Mart. So oddly enough, the asile I am on houses those tall religious Catholic candles with the pictures of the Virgin Mary or the famous fictional character, Jesus. And this child, who can’t be no more than like 7, runs up to a Jesus candle and starts yelling, “Mommy, mommy, Jesus is here! He is here! He returned! He returned! But wait, why aren’t we in Heaven now?” Is it wrong that I just laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing? Good thing I had my headset in and pretended I was talking on the phone.
Now, I live in Los Angeles, or Long Beach to some people, and I am pretty alone on most days because I took it upon myself to pack up and move 400 miles away from all my close friends. I have two that I hold dear to my heart and they are the ones I talk to every day, or if I miss a day, twice a day. Yes, I am that loved. Tonee and Ivan. No truer friends have ever been uttered into my life. Today, after a huge fight with this guy about why I didn’t put salt in my DIETARY soup that ended in him walking out, I was left with this task he had promised me. Making an omelet. Now for people who really know me, I have like minus 2 cooking skills. The only thing I can make is macaroni and cheese from scratch (stop laughing) and the ‘three day slow cooked greens’ my grandmother taught me to make. But who am I kidding, that’s just stirring fucking vinegar and hot sauce in a pot full of water and collard greens. Who can’t do that?
So anyways, I start chopping up things I want to put in my omelet; peppers, onions, mushrooms and I sit at the table and go ‘Oh shit, how the fuck do I make an omelet?’ So instead of waiting for my MetroPCS internet to take 12 days to load a page on how to make the perfect omelet, I message one of the greatest cooks I know, Ivan. After the initial shock of my actual request, I was told to take a pan, mix in my ingredients as I wished into the eggs and put it in the pan as it heated up. Well, no one told me till after that I wasn’t supposed to have the heat on high. I’m sitting there wondering why my eggs are brown on the pan side but all liquidy on top. “Is your heat on high?” “Um, yes.” “Turn it down” “I cant, it only goes from ‘off’ with a space and then ‘high’ and ‘lite’.” “Turn it to the space.” “Ooooh, I didn’t know I could do that with gas fire.”
Okay, don’t judge me. I have been unsuccessful with gas stoves so I just try not to use them. My omelet came out great though! So what it was burnt on one side? I still ate it. Even if I am the only one who eats my own cooking. Look out Top Chef, I am going to put myself in the running. *Rockstar!*
So I mean I figure that if I want to establish myself in this writing/blogger world, I might as well, um, maybe start writing. More writing that is *wink*. So what better way to start back on it than doing a reality style blog entry every now and then? Its like the most brilliant plan I have ever come up with. Don’t laugh. I am dead ass serious. And you get to see how I really talk when I am not thinking of correct word usage and trying to impress the big people. And by ‘big people’ I mean my Facebook friends.
Okay, so I’m in Target and I am getting ready to start on my ‘Vision Board’ that I had read in the book called ‘The Secret’. It’s a book about the laws of attraction and how what you put out in the universe will come back to you. So putting positive energy and words out there, you get positive things back to you. You get the picture. Well, I going down the aisle with the bulletin boards and going through the piles of overpriced ones till I found the cheapest board. And when you find something cheap at Target, its really actually expensive compared to places like, oh I don’t know, maybe, Wal-Mart. So oddly enough, the asile I am on houses those tall religious Catholic candles with the pictures of the Virgin Mary or the famous fictional character, Jesus. And this child, who can’t be no more than like 7, runs up to a Jesus candle and starts yelling, “Mommy, mommy, Jesus is here! He is here! He returned! He returned! But wait, why aren’t we in Heaven now?” Is it wrong that I just laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing? Good thing I had my headset in and pretended I was talking on the phone.
Now, I live in Los Angeles, or Long Beach to some people, and I am pretty alone on most days because I took it upon myself to pack up and move 400 miles away from all my close friends. I have two that I hold dear to my heart and they are the ones I talk to every day, or if I miss a day, twice a day. Yes, I am that loved. Tonee and Ivan. No truer friends have ever been uttered into my life. Today, after a huge fight with this guy about why I didn’t put salt in my DIETARY soup that ended in him walking out, I was left with this task he had promised me. Making an omelet. Now for people who really know me, I have like minus 2 cooking skills. The only thing I can make is macaroni and cheese from scratch (stop laughing) and the ‘three day slow cooked greens’ my grandmother taught me to make. But who am I kidding, that’s just stirring fucking vinegar and hot sauce in a pot full of water and collard greens. Who can’t do that?
So anyways, I start chopping up things I want to put in my omelet; peppers, onions, mushrooms and I sit at the table and go ‘Oh shit, how the fuck do I make an omelet?’ So instead of waiting for my MetroPCS internet to take 12 days to load a page on how to make the perfect omelet, I message one of the greatest cooks I know, Ivan. After the initial shock of my actual request, I was told to take a pan, mix in my ingredients as I wished into the eggs and put it in the pan as it heated up. Well, no one told me till after that I wasn’t supposed to have the heat on high. I’m sitting there wondering why my eggs are brown on the pan side but all liquidy on top. “Is your heat on high?” “Um, yes.” “Turn it down” “I cant, it only goes from ‘off’ with a space and then ‘high’ and ‘lite’.” “Turn it to the space.” “Ooooh, I didn’t know I could do that with gas fire.”
Okay, don’t judge me. I have been unsuccessful with gas stoves so I just try not to use them. My omelet came out great though! So what it was burnt on one side? I still ate it. Even if I am the only one who eats my own cooking. Look out Top Chef, I am going to put myself in the running. *Rockstar!*
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