*L'kabbalah l'emet ul'kehilla: For LGBT acceptance, truth and community with a Jewish flare*

01 February 2010

2864 Miles

They wonder why I moved 2,864 miles away. They wonder why I dont call like a person is supposed to call. They wonder how on earth can someone who just packed up and moved, not keep in contact. Well, it seems that distance isnt enough when it comes to family. That if you don't follow the plan they laid out, nothing you do is good enough. Nothing you say will change their minds.

And they wonder why I moved 2,864 miles away.

I am the only person, on both my mother's side and father's that moved and didn't come back. I seem to be the only person that can survive without having 3 kids by several different men and counting on welfare and section 8 to get me a place. I seem to be the only person that didnt get a house handed to me cuz my mother moved. I seem to be the only one that marriage didnt take me from my parents house years and years after I graduated. I seem to be the only one with my own house in another state, going to school full time and STILL debt free. Still able to become a father soon and not care what they have to say about it.

And they wonder why I moved 2,864 miles away.

I am jewish, I am gay, I am in a relationship, I am a parent to be, I am a student, I am a free standing black man. Why don't I need to come back to Virginia to the family that thinks my life is messed up? Oh, well since the Tipton family here treats me like their own, why bother. Since the Hudson family in North Carolina can treat me as their own, why bother? Since Congregation B'nai Israel can treat me as their own, why bother? Since I have someone who loves me in Miami, why bother? I'm sorry that I worked my ass off to get where I am and didn't get my tutition paid by my parents. I'm sorry that I am the only man in my family that the Army didn't get. I'm sorry I finished high school and didn't stay in VA. I'm sorry that I didn't get a laptop for college from my folks when I was told they were broke. I'm sorry that my mother is a complete hypocrite and that she talks about me with my siblings behind my back. I'm sorry that my father is stuck in 1970 when lava lamps were the shit. I'm sorry that my cousin moved in with me, had money but didn't pay her share of the rent, in turn is why I kicked her out. I'm sorry that the church my mother attends is the reason she is like she is. I'm sorry that my sister has been in college for 5 months and thinks she is a professor on Judaism. I'm sorry my father told me to write an autobiography about "my screwed up life" and now this note is posted.

And they wonder why I moved 2,864 miles away.