Can 'I Love You' Be Too Soon?

We live in a society that, for the most part, is run by religious institutions. These institutions tell you how to live, how to talk, how to live your life, what to do and what not to do. But none of these religious doctrines’ tell you how long it is acceptable to wait before saying 'I love you' to your partner.

So...

Can saying 'I love you' ever be said too soon?

Looking at text ranging from the Harlem Renaissance even as far back as the Biblical stories told, there is nothing that tells us how long to wait before love is acceptable to be voiced. William Shakespeare had all of his main leads quickly fall in love. Even characters from the Bible have no regards for length of time for love. The moment Jonathan saw David, he loved him and made sure David had everything. Even a chest to cry on before they split up because of the envious father. Jacob hadn't seen Rachel for all but ten minutes before he loved her and was willing to work 7 years and 1 week before he married Rachel, and then was willing to work 7 more years after he married Rachel. Samson hadn't known Delilah for a day and loved her, not knowing she was after much more and he ended up committing suicide after.

Even after all of these stories are told, we still are left with that nagging question: Is it okay to say those 3 words even if time hasn't lapsed? In the gay community, it is frowned upon. You will hear things like 'That's not love, its lust' or 'How can you love someone you barely know?' All good points, but all are also very cynical. Love is blind. You also hear this saying, too, especially from the same cynical people. If love is compared to the person it is modeled after, it would mean that love has no respect of physical condition, skin color or anything else that one sees with one’s eyes. So, shouldn't time be considered in this as well since, after all, blindness cannot see time?

Then, if this is true, why are we putting time limits on our inner most feelings? Is it to protect your inner most self? Is it to determine if the partner is worthy of such love? Whatever the reason, just let it go. Let it breathe, and let it flourish. Love is a beautiful thing that, like grass, grows at an incredible fast speed. Loving someone should not have any time limits attached. Because we are all created in love and that love is meant to be shared, displayed and recharged.

Therefore, saying I love you can never be said too soon. But be wise, not everyone is open to love as most people are. But never give up on love, never give up on voicing your love and never stop loving who you are.
 Chazak, chazak, v'nitchazek - Be strong, be strong, and may you have strength!

Hafaygelah: Homophobia in Reglious Life

In honor of the LGBT Pride season, topics are springing up in my head left and right. I chose to talk about a topic that is very relevant not just in our daily life but in our religious one as well; homophobia. Many religious sects use a verse in the bible to aim their disapproval towards gay men and women: Vayikra (Leviticus) 18:22 which reads in Hebrew is:

וְאֶת-זָכָר--לֹא תִשְׁכַּב, מִשְׁכְּבֵי אִשָּׁה:  תּוֹעֵבָה, הִוא

{Ve-et zachar lo tishcav mishkevei isha to'evah hi}

Translated means 'A man shall not lie with another man as he would lie with a woman, it is a to'evah'. The word to'evah has been misunderstood and incorrectly translated to 'abomination' when it does not mean abomination at all. To'evah means basically 'foreign'. The term to'evah is used almost a hundred and three times in the Tanach (bible) in regards to foreign practices. This is why there is no Hebrew word for homosexual, homosexuality or gay (in the meaning of the latter). The acts of gay sex were foreign and believed to be apart of idol worship. I mean, how many times have you told your kids not to watch something on TV until you researched the show yourself and made sure it was okay for a child? But as time progressed, so did the laws. Homosexuality was seen as a work of Ha'Shem as was heterosexuality. There became a word for gay men and women. Judaism itself does not prohibit or in any way look down upon homosexual love. And in the eyes of Judaism the love between two men or two women can be as natural as the love between a man and a woman.

In other parts of the Tanach was the word to'evah used: Bereshit (Genesis) 43:32 states that eating with Israelites is to'evah for Egyptians. Bereshit 43:34 states that shepherds are to'evah to Egyptians—the sons of Israel are themselves shepherds. In Shemot (Exodus) 8:22, Moses describes Israelite sacrifices as being to'evat mitzrayim (foreign to Egypt), although obviously Israelite ritual is not an objective abomination. If to'evah means abomination, then eating with shepherds, eating with Israelites, and Israelite sacrifices themselves must be abominable! Since this clearly is not the case, to'evah cannot mean abomination. But this has been the case since King James translated Hebrew to his liking and homosexuals at that time were seen as demons and serious sinners who should be obliterated from the earth (or at the very least 'saved'). Many religions now use the King James Version of the bible as the solid truth and no other but G-d could have translated this. This lack of knowledge has birth the rise of homophobia and the unacceptance of gay men and women in religion today.

What is troubling to me are the many preachers and ministers saying Adonai is a being that is all loving and only hates a certain group of people. This is an oxymoron. Something that G-d is not. As stated in my last blog-drash, we are all created in the Divine image and according to Bereshit 1:27, G-d saw what G-d had made and it was good. Human beings, human nature and human sexuality were apart of this goodly sight. So why is homophobia and the unacceptance of homosexuality so relavant in religious life? Answer: The uneducated opinions of people who feel they may be raped by a three hundred pound gay "demon". This is even more sadly growing in the black community where being a homosexual is seen as being less of a man. This is why the 'down low' life is so shockingly alive and gay men and women are subject to abuse that may end in homicide or suicide.

People need to wake up and stop throwing their hateful opinions in with their religious views. G-d cannot dwell where hate (to anything and anyone, including self) resides. So this Pride season, whether gay or not, embrace love and enjoy each breath you take. Stop hating yourself and the people around you because you don’t understand. Don't let something that is to'evah become an abomination. Educate yourself, love yourself and enjoy the peace that was handed to all of us.

Baruch shebara ahavah v'achavah v'shalom v'rei'ut: Blessed is the One who creates love, harmony, peace and companionship. Ken yehi ratzon, may it be G-d's will.

V'ahavtah L'rey-acha Kamocha: Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

I have many friends who feel religion is a pointless, mind-slavery waste of time. How could anyone worship a god who is vengeful and a vicious warlord? How can people believe in a book that is full of contradictions? And these friends of mine have every right to feel the way they feel. Especially after the many hate filled protests of Fred Phelp’s congregation or from Rabbi Yisroel Dovid Weiss and his anti-zionist, anti-Israel, burning the Israeli flag beliefs. Why should my friend’s feel the need to believe in a god who can condone such ignorance and baseless hatred?

They shouldn’t. Because that god isn’t real. That god isn’t the god that is illuminated in love and peace. The One who grants peace to the high heavens and to us here is the one who is truly in existence. There is no such thing as ‘love hating’ anything. It would be a lie. It would be an oxymoron. Everything is created in the Divine’s image and everything is given the upmost respect from the Divine. We, as humans, pick and chose how to deal with our fate and our emotions. We, as humans, chose our actions and our worship. We, as flawed humans, carry out the positive or the negative. G-d, in any creation to your liking, just shows us the path. Whether G-d is Dionysus, Hera, Bacchus, Bromios, Dendrites, Jesus, Budda, Adonai, Aphrodite, Muhammad, or any name; if this figure is based solely in love and acceptance for all people, then that is the true meaning of the Divine. The Divine cannot not dwell in hate, ignorance or any variation of the two because we as humans are the one’s who act on such evil.

And this brings about the next question: what about the events in the Bible that portray the Holy One to be a vengeful deity? Well, my rabbi once explained it like this: the bible is not true but it is truth. The events, the stories, the fables in the bible can’t be proven to have happened. So it makes it not true. But the underlying principles, the concepts of the stories, the moral of each tale are what makes it truth. We all can relate to a personal Egypt in which enslaved us and then we were freed from. Whether it is drug abuse, alcoholism, self- homophobia, etc, we all can relate these sufferings to the Passover story. There’s a saying during this festival ‘What G-d did for me, when I came out of Egypt.’ The Divine showed us the way, and we freed ourselves with the help of the Divine. No one can prove that the world was made at the drop of a dime in 6 days but it gives us a guideline into a period where we work, satisfy others, or make a paycheck and a period where we relax and meditate and soak in our surroundings. The Unitarian Universalists church believes that the Christian Bible, or the Torah, or the Qu’ran or any other account of human experience, not to be either an infallible guide or the exclusive source of truth. They respect the sacred literature of other religions. They aspire to truth as wide as the world, they look to find truth anywhere, universally. And it is in this acceptance of all people, this respect for all religions, other than their own, that I see G-d. Because their love for their fellow neighbor shines through. In Judaism, the Nisim B’chol Yom: For Daily Miracles, there is a passage that shows me G-d and unity. “I am a Jew because in EVERY place where suffering weeps, the Jew weeps. I am a Jew because at EVERY time when despair cries out, the Jew hopes. I am a Jew because, above humanity, image of the divine Unity, the Jew places the unity which is divine.”

To love your fellow man as yourself is not so difficult to achieve but for some it is the hardest thing to do. If we look inside ourselves, cleanse the negative energy from our spirit, educate our ignorance and embrace the love that is surrounding us, we can achieve countless miracles in our lives. We can see love like we have never seen it before. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, “One day, ALL of G-d’s children, white and black, Jews and Gentiles will join hands and sing in that old spiritual song- free at last, free at last, thank G-d almighty, we are free at last.” It doesn’t matter what you believe, what you worship, or what you practice, as long as the love in your life shines through, all good things will come your way. Ken yehi ratzon; May it be G-d’s will.