Yom Ga'avah {Happy Pride}

This Pride season has been a month of difficult journey, lessons and triumph. Even with all the anti-gay propaganda and the right wing religious view of Senator Ruben Diaz against gay marriage, we still gained one more victory to equal rights: New York State passed a law allowing same sex couples to marry. Baruch Ha'Shem! How wonderful it is to allow acceptance and tolerance into one's life. We have a lot to celebrate today and the rest of the Pride season. G-d is working G-d's miracles in the lives of true love and happiness, both gay and straight alike.

This Pride let us also remember the ones who died fighting for equal rights for all. Let us remember Stonewall. Let us not forget the men and women who died of AIDS before and after medication was created. Let us remember our Transgender sisters and brothers who were beaten to death because they were different. Let's remember that the journey isn't over just yet and we still have a way to travel. Zicronam L'vracha: The memories of the righteous will always be a blessing. Joseph F. Beam, David P. Brill, Stephen Donaldson, Steve Endean, Barbara Gittings, Harry Hay, Essex Hemphill, Brenda Howard, Morris Kight, Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, Harvey Milk, Bayard Rustin, as well as others whom I may not know of or have forgotten.

As a community, both LGBT and straight, we must learn to love ourselves as well as others. We must learn to differentiate between religious ignorance and G-d's true love. I saw a dear friend of mine's picture that read, 'G-d Accepts You~ GAY' and I began to smile deeply. Love, light, happiness and acceptance is finally starting to shine through in the world. May we all continue to live, learn and grow in truth and beauty and create a better and more accepting world for everyone to live in. Oseh shalom bim'romav hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu v'al kol Yis'ra'eil v'im'ru Amein: May the One who makes peace, grant peace to all of us and to all Israel. To which we say, Amen.

Yom Ga'avah: Happy Pride!

The Problem With Gay Love

I got your attention now? Good! Sit down and pay attention.

Have you ever wondered why in pictures of gay marriage rallies you seldom see black gay couples standing and defending this human right? Well, I have. And to piggy back on my last post, I will say it again; it is the social media that creates this black hole into the gay community. But not only is it the sex hook up sites that creates this distorted view of monogamy, but it's the Hollywood adaptation of what gay relationships should be like. You see the tall, physically fit guy who gets the almost flawed but still perfect guy, who happens to also be physically fit. And it creates this notion that the only way to get a successful relationship is to be physically fit.

But what our community fails to understand is that true love knows no boundaries, no judgments, and no conditions. Too long have people confused the idea of love with the feeling of lust. Lust is, at the very essence, conditional. Lust has its infatuation period that all too quickly ends and when it does, we act like love has eluded us yet again. But we can't expect to be ready for love when we can't even distinguish the difference between the two.

Someone asked me what my blog was about and who it is directed toward. Well, I speak for the guys who are subjected to rejection because they don't have a six pack. I speak for the guys who are ridiculed for being feminine and shunned by our own community for it. I speak for the men who struggle every day with being a single gay parent. I speak for the people who are subjected to condemnation because of religious beliefs and forced to live a lie because of it. I speak for the people who are genuinely looking for love but can't seem to find it because the media says they are not white enough, or black enough, or Asian enough or muscular enough or fit enough or rich enough or American enough. I speak for men who are thrown away because they are HIV positive. I speak for you.

People need to wake up to the new light of day and realize that you will continue to be single, bitter and lonely if you don't stop the self hating, racist and judgmental words you put out in the world. What attracts you is one thing, but putting someone down or closing them out is another. We all have a list of what we want our perfect guy or girl to look like but if you haven't lived long enough you won't know that there isn't a thing that is perfect. Use this list as a guideline, not as a contract. Open yourself up to people who are ‘outside of the box’. Then and only then will you find true love. Ken yehi ratzon: May it be G-d's will.