Serenity Prayer

Theres a prayer intended to give strength to ppl faced with circumstances they don't want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from its insight into human nature. Because so many of us rage against against the hand that life has dealt us. Because so many of us are cowardly and afraid to stand up for what is right. Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. The good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear u and answer ur prayer. The bad news is that sometimes, the answer is no.

"We ask God to grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. The courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Day 7

Today is the day and last night was off the fucking chain, excuse the french. If you haven't viewed B-TV # 6 'Birthday Bash' then you are truly missing the experience. It was funny how it all started out crazy and disorganized, but came together at the very very end. My best friend was supposed to be here Friday but complications with her mothers health kept her in Stockton till yesterday. So, she was suppose to be here yesterday morning to cook me a birthday breakfast but that didnt really happen till my actual birthday. I was suppose to get my hair redone at 2 and expected to be out the house at 330, but the fates had it that my hair stylist to come at 12 cuz it took her 2 hours to redo it. I got my last minute party favors and headed out the door to meet others at the BART station in El Cerrito.
We got to the Mint and even thought 15 people RSVP'd, I was glad to just kick it with the 6 that showed up. We took the house down and my only present I asked for was a drink. There was a dark man with 23 year old dreads who sung me 2 songs, one was Prince 'Little Red Corvette' and something else, and bought me a drink. I had another white man sing me a song and also bye me a drink and the place gave me a free drink with a naked man on the side.......of the glass. I sung my two favorite songs in the entire world, 'Get Me Bodied' by Beyonce and 'And I Am Telling You' the Jennifer Holiday version.
We ended the night at dinner and was astonished that Mel's Diner charges 5 dollars for a side of bacon. NEVER AGAIN!!! But all in all, it was a wonderful night. I want to thank all of my friends and loved ones who wished me a happy birthday yesterday and today. I love you all.

B-TV #6

Day 6

Mission one I'ma put this on
When he see me in the dress I'ma get me some
Mission two Gotta make that call
Tell him get the bottles poppin' when they play my song
Mission three Got my three best friends
Like we do it all the time we gone do it again
Mission four Got the vintage Rolls Drop a couple hundreds tell him leave it at the door

Mission five Skip to the front of the line
Let me fix my hair up 'fore I go inside
Mission six Gotta check these chicks 'Cause you know they gone block when I take these flicks Mission seven Gotta make my rounds
Given eyes to the guys now I think I found him
Mission eight Now we conversate And we can skip small talk let's get right to the chase

I ain't worried doing me tonight A little sweat ain't never hurt nobody
While ya'll standin' on the wall I'm the one tonight Getting bodied
Want my body You want my body You should see my body
I gotta know enough to know if you can get me bodied I'm kinda tight,
I'm feeling right enough to see somebody
I wanna let it off tonight
Wanna dance, wanna party wanna be myself tonight

Baby all I want is to let it go Ain't no worries, no, We can dance all night
Get me bodied That means come closer to me
While we grind to the beat And your body's touching my body
All I need is to let it be Ain't no worry, no Boy dance with me
Feel my body Don't stop just come closer to me
While we grind to the beat With your body touching my body

Day 5

As we draw near to the day of days, I have so many ideas in my head for my party and the upcoming year of my life. I am preparing for a big change and a huge move that's about to happen and these next few days will help me get ready.

I want to thank all my friends and supporters who have helped me get this far. You are greatly loved and appreciated. When we get big and loud, we will change the blog world and slowly everything else. Now, I sound like Obamas campaign. YAY!!! YES WE CAN!!!

"Give me love or give me nothing"

Day 4

Aquarius/Pisces are often multitalented, both in scientific and creative endeavors. They are unique and rebellious people who are driven to change the world. However, they can be shy, quiet and sometimes elusive, refusing to show their true selves. They are modest and thoughtful, sometimes displaying remarkable musical talent. Their freedom is important to them, and they are often driven to help others become free, as well.

The great strength of the Aquarius/Pisces is in their visionary nature and their compassion. They are the people who take the world to the next level; they make others see things in a new light. Their ability to break the rules and help others reach their fullest potential makes them one of the most understanding characters of the zodiac.

"Please dont stop the music"

Day 3

Half way mark to the finish line. 22 years will be over and baby new year of 23 will be arriving. There’s just something about rainy days that have my mind in overdrive and the small things that would normally wash away on any given Sunday, meld into my spirit and cause me to over do everything. Over analyze, over-think, overcompensate, overreact, etc. But now the sun is back and out and I am back on track.

One of my best friend is coming out to see me for my birthday and I couldn’t be happier if it is only just me and her. Nevertheless, its human nature to want to be the center of attention amongst folks who you know on a day that especially made for you. Remember kiddies, the party starts at 5 and I’m taking my drunk ass home at 9. So don’t try to be cute, and be fashionably late to make an entrance cuz you will get left. That being said, I need to go and find an outfit and get my thoughts together for my big birthday speech.

Thanks all.

“I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does”

Reading of Chris Brown

written by Son of Baldwin

What's frightening to me is that there are people who believe that Rihanna could have done something to "provoke" Chris or that she somehow might have done something to "deserve" the beating he gave her.

I don't care if he caught her fucking his brother in his mother's bed, no one has the right to put their hands on another person. Even if he was fending off an attack from Rihanna, the proper response isn't to beat her into unconsciousness. The decent response is to get as far away from her as possible and call the authorities. That's what anyone who would dare call themselves a man would do. All of the individuals saying that they would have done the same thing in Chris' situation, I simply cannot regard as real men. Half-men, maybe. Monsters definitely. But not real men.

What Chris did was the unmanliness thing imaginable: beat the shit out of a woman that is clearly no match for him, rendered her unconscious, and then left the scene of the crime. And his response, like every other guilty person throughout history, is to "apologize" (and it wasn't even an apology; he said he was sorry for "what happened" as though it was someone other than him that beat Rihanna down) and then suddenly claim God and religion and call on the name of Jesus to garner public sympathy.

It's so tired, but it's going to work. After all, Chris is a handsome young man and nobody garners public sympathy and instant forgiveness like a good looking young man--no matter what act he commits. And shit, all you have to say is "Jesus" and every Christian in the sound of your voice is going to protect and defend you. Because being a Christian doesn't require much thought, it just requires that you follow along like a lamb.

-Son of Baldwin

Day 2

I am no superman. I can not do this all on my own. Lord give me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cant and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Rain rain go away..."

Day 1

The last Monday of my 22nd year from birth is a slow and rainy one. I am sifting out who I want in my life still and also making sense of the sitcom my life has become. Granted the 22nd will just be another day in the Universe, it will mark a day I will enter another year, LESS stressed and less dramatically filled.

"Its my week and I will cry if I want to."

Countdown Begins

As we draw nigh to the 23rd celebration of my life, feelings and excitement swell up in the temples of my head. You would think it would be in my heart, but no such luck. My head is swimming with ideas for themes and fears of a poor turn out. I have made peace with my best friends not being able to attend, seeing how distance is a major factor, but we will celebrate times two when we can. Nevertheless, its exciting to be this far in my life when ppl said I wouldn't make it to see this age, and given the fact that I have health issues, it really brings tears to my eyes. I thank my guardian deity for protection and guidance and for the real friends that I do have. I thank my deity for allowing me to be in the area in which I love with all my heart and have a house in my name and no one elses.

Thus the countdown begins as we prepare to launch on a very special day. T-minus 7 days....

Friends, Dating and Inbetween

Most people who are stuck on one definition of relationships are in for nothing more than heartbreak, heartache and confusion. There are steps to getting to know someone, whether that ends up romantically or just platonically, so don't kid yourself to thinking there isn't. When you first meet someone, you are at a cross road for a decision. Do I want to be with this person or do I just want to be friends, or even do I want to deal with them? Whatever the answer is, the underlying reason is the same, 'let me get to know this person better'. When that happens, you understand what you want from person A and proceed to go for it. The confusion and whatnot happens when person B wants something different. Before I continue let me clear something up.

Once you answer the basic question of wanting to deal with this person, if you are trying to be romantically involved with person B then you must understand that there are steps:

• First, for any relationship to flourish as well as you dream of, it is imperative that you start out as friends. This being said, its almost impossible to get hurt if the other says he isn't feeling you on that level and would want to remain......friends.
• Secondly, the term 'talking to' is the same as 'dating'. Here you are still single and still free to mingle and talk to, or date, whomever. Respect needs to arise and inform said people of each other so if a relationship does happen between one of you, there is no, 'Well why didn't you tell me?' drama.
• Then, once you see that you really like this person and you guys mesh well, you enter the stage of a relationship. Here, it is illegal in the relationship handbook to continue your ties with others. Or in layman's term, cheating, since being in a relationship is a commitment, not a game.

So before any of this takes place, understanding and openness is the key to a lasting friendship if nothing else. This is essential if person A is talking to a person B and C and it just so happens that person B and C are close friends. Now, in the technical sense of this situation its perfectly fair and nothing wrong with dating people who know each other. I mean, come on, we live in the same area, we are bond to know the same people. The issue, however, arises, when one person doesn't like that you're talking to their friend. Most people would wonder if there was any past feelings between the friends B and C and ask why is it an issue. Most people would say, person A is single so get over it. However, in the gay sense of things, people claim other people and EXPECT everyone else to abide by these rules and if they are not kept, then its marked messy and you are marked a bad person.

The truth of the matter is that life is 10% of things that happen to us and 90% of how we respond to it. If you end a friendship over someone you are interested in who chose your friend, that makes you the weak one and not them. Build a bridge, accept their happiness and move on. I mean, if it was some other Joe Blow off the street, would it really matter or would you still have a friend?

Exactly.

Saint Valentine's Day

For years I despised this holiday. I hated the very thought of this day. I dreaded February 13th ending, making it the 14th. I had these emotions for years and years dating back to high school. Recently, I learned to hate it over my last few ex's who never took part in the holiday with ME.

But now 2009, its a new day.

Friday, February 6th, I began to tap into an energy and power in me that I had forgot was there. During the "hurricane season" that I experienced last year, I lost touch of my inner spirit and the power it posses. But on this Friday, I not only attracted happiness, I attracted money, love, sharing and a rainbow. Yes, a rainbow. There was nothing like it ever. Typically when we see a rainbow, we either see a half of it, or bits an pieces of it. But this one was over the Fremont Bart Station, stretching from one mountain to the next. No half, no pieces...just full. That night, I watching a video on YouTube that had me crying balls of tears like I had just seen a sad movie. This man was disabled and couldn't get around but he was giving a testimony about how he hung in there and never gave up. What got my attention was the passage from the bible he used was the exact one I post on here for inspiration. When he was done, I was a mess. So I felt even more powerful and decided to put my order back on the line for a man. Shit, if I can attract a rainbow, I damn sure better be able to get a man.

So I gave the list that I wanted my man to have. Muscular body, i added at the very least he could be athletically build, caring, loving, humor, funny, affectionate....you know the works. But one thing I failed to mention was that he be ready and willing to be in a relationship. SOOOO, Saturday as I am cleaning, I get a call from this guy who I completely forgot about from when I first moved to Cali, wanted to take me out. On a new high off life, I agreed and when I hung up it smacked me in the face that EVERYTHING I put out last night, this man was. He was muscular, not the big body building types, the perfect muscle type, funny, caring, kind...blah blah.

Now when I get to the City (San Fran), I get off the BART and there is some guy walking by me and he smiled and waved. Normally, I would have just smiled and walked away but something in me broke. I smiled, walked away but stopped dead in my tracks and was like, what if the Universe sent him? So I did an about face and approached this out of the blue guy. I asked him for directions (knowing already where I was going) and he had the most charming smile I ever seen. Well, I didn't get his name cuz I thought if it was meant, that Id see him again. At least I approached him and proved to the Universe that I didn't neglect him. Now, the date was superb. He was a perfect gentlemen, opened doors for me, ordered for me, placed his hand on the small of my back, the works. We talked for hours and before I knew it, it was one o clock in the morning and I had got to the city at six.

Once I left the date, it was all like a dream. I loved the feeling I felt, the high I was one and was really asking myself, was this joy real? Not since Dax, have I went on a date with a guy that I had no expectations for and no aim to what was going to happen next. At least I was that powerful to attract what I wanted. May not be what I need, but it damn sure is what I want. So this Valentine's Day I will be in such a joyous mood and even IF I am alone on this day, I will def. not be lonely.

That much I can say to be true!

B-TV #5 "Valentine's Day Affirmation"

Broadcast Television brings you the fifth installment of the series. Join Jonny B. Mitchell as he brings you the new 'Poetry Corner' and gives you affirmations to enjoy the upcoming Valentine's Day...

Do Not Cry

Dedicated to Krys, Glennie and Katrina; all whom were close and have passed on.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glimpse of snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumns rain.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die

U Sex and the Town Episode 3

Episode 3