Change is Internal

I had a Facebook buddy of mine make a comment about the lack of homosexuality in the  movies. When he made a comment about us being the "masses" when it came to Will and Grace, my mind went to work. We may have been the masses in television but we are a minority to the world. And on top of that, Will and Grace exploited the white gay community for comedy and the world is more accepting to the feminine and non-aggressive humor that it brings. We, as the BLACK gay community, are fighting wind with water. Two opposing forces that, even thought can make a damaging change, won't ever overpower each other. 


If we as the black gay community want to create a change in the media and the world, we first need to make a change within ourselves. It's like the saying, 'You can't clean someone else's house if your house ain't clean.' That goes for change as well. I believe that with sites like Black Gay Chat and Adam thriving as it is, we will never get anywhere outside of the bubble we are stuck in. The world is being shown the negative connotations that we as a whole are nursing on and then wondering why we can't get beyond two seasons of Noah's Arc. Or why we can't find P.U.N.K.S. anywhere to buy. Or why we don't have anyone in the entertainment business thats out, black and proud. 


I heard on a television show that, the wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. DL Chronicles, as deathly entertaining as it was, hurt the community. The book 'On The Down Low', hurt the community. We showed the world that not only can we not be trusted, but we can't be trusted to women, we can't be trusted to our family and we can't be trusted to ourselves. Even though these creators were not aiming for that, this is what the world extracted from it. They see sex, HIV, sex and no commitment. Look at how Miami Sizzle carries itself, look at how ATL Pride presents itself to you or even NYC Black Gay Pride. Meat market, sex fest and one night stands. And you wonder why the federal government won't give you the right to marry.


The white gay community actually shows the side that needs to be shown. Acceptance, love and happiness. Compare an AD for SF Gay Pride to that of Miami Sizzle. Catch my point? This is why the 'masses' for Will and Grace actually worked and the showed lasted a full eight seasons but consequently is the reason why Noah's Arc lasted two seasons and why the movie was only in 'selected' theatres. The world doesn't want to see gay black men cause their view of us has been tainted.


If we want to make the change in this world, we need to start loving ourselves, start being kinder to others, and stop thinking our shit don't stink when we are behind a computer trying to get the next lay. Its wonderful to look good, have a great body and feel great but when that's all you show to the community and the world, that's all you will be in their eyes. My late friend, Katrina, said that if a site has to ask you your HIV status and your position, it's a sex site, whether you use it for that or not. And no truer words have ever been spoken. Let's make the change today and get a life. A life outside BGC, outside Adam and Men for Now, outside of the happening gay clubs in our city. Let's actually show the world that we are about much more than sex, muscular bodies, snobbing attitudes, cliques in the club, and poor as dirt folks. Stand up and make a stand in the world, but make sure it starts in your living room.

Happy New Year~

Jonny B. Mitchell