*L'kabbalah l'emet ul'kehilla: For LGBT acceptance, truth and community with a Jewish flare*

27 May 2010

Un (X)plainable

After my great and awesome trip to Long Beach Pride the weekend of May 17th, I came back to Northern Cali with a thought on my mind. Why do I still feel this way? Why is it that I am still attached?


Answer?

For certain people, they have a person in their life that makes them smile, heart beat twice, and butterflies in the tummy. The catch is, there is no relationship between these people and it is fine. But it wasn't always like that. This type of bond is the 'Unexplainable Bond' and it is not to be confused with Soul Mates. Because Soul Mates typically are in relationships. This unexplainable bond is self explanatory, it is un-explainable. It takes work to make it work and that’s why there is usually only one person to share it with. To me, it takes three steps to make this type of friendship work.

1) Acceptance


2) Dealing


3) Making it work

Acceptance; Step one. You can never get over something or someone if you don’t acknowledge and accept that your friendship will never blossom past that. You have to be willing to accept this truth and come to peace with it which brings us to step two...

Dealing; However you have to do it, then as Nike says, JUST DO IT! If it means cutting the person off for a while, limiting your time with them, taking a longer vacation, etc. I don’t care. If it works for you, then I love it. This is the hardest step to do and most people can't get past it or they relapse too many times or even end with cutting the person off entirely, which says that you don’t have that bond. Dealing with an issue is as hard as you can imagine. Try sleeping with a broken heart and then tell me that it’s easy. Exactly.

Making it Work; The reward is the lasting friendship with someone who knows you, understands up, accepts you, laughs with you (sometimes at you), helps you and makes you happy. What better friend to have in your life than this? Sometimes best friends are made with this bond; sometimes best friends don’t even have this bond. This bond is something deeper and making it work on a neutral level is a job in itself, but it’s worth it.

Conclusion?

If you don’t accept that you won't get farther with a person you love than friendship, and don’t deal with it, you will drive yourself crazy. Not everyone is entitled to experience this feeling and it may never happen for some of you. But for those that can look back and agree with this blog post will understand. Love is more than an emotion that causes pain, rage, bliss and ecstasy. It forms bonds between people that can be defined, written, spoken and sometimes it leaves bonds that are, well, unexplainable. Believe and you can find happiness in your life in the deepest confusion you may face in life.