*L'kabbalah l'emet ul'kehilla: For LGBT acceptance, truth and community with a Jewish flare*

24 September 2009

Excerpt from Unisex The Town Epi 5

"What do you remember about that night?" my therapist asked in a slow but soft voice. I tensed up trying to block the memories from flooding back.

"Pain," I finally got out, "Excruciating pain."

"Tell me about it, Kenny."

I shook my head slightly and inhaled deep. The vision came back vigorously like it had happened the other day, when in fact it was only just twelve months ago. I started spewing out details like it was vomit that my body couldn’t hold anymore. How I came home that night, William was on the couch in the dark and how a feeling of terror shot threw me when I turned on the lights. He sat there, two empty 40 ounce bottles of vodka sat on the coffee table, with a knife in his left hand.

"William, what are-?"

"Who is Clark?"

My mind swam suddenly. He was obviously drunk, but that name stung me like an angry hornet.

"Who?" I stalled but he sensed it and shot up, staggering a bit.

"Don’t fucking play games with me, Kenny! Who...is...Clark?"

I turned and rushed toward the front door, but as I opened it, William had thrown his body on it to slam it closed. Now, he was inches away from me and I was looking at his empty hands. My breathing felt heavy and I wanted to tell him the truth, but instead I chose another avenue.

"A friend." I lied and turned around to walk to the kitchen but as soon as I had done that, I immediately regretted it. It wasn’t his footsteps that I heard, but the removing of the bottle from the coffee table. When my attention snapped in attention to his direction, I felt my nose being crushed by a flying object causing me to fall into the wall behind me. Then, he started kicking me profusely and violently while he slammed my head into the wall during his breaks from kicking me. It had all happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to panic. The brief, deathly brief, moment he took to scream something that was grabbed, I took the bottle that had hit my nose and when he charged at me, I crashed the bloody object into his right temple. I heard the thud of his body but had not seen it since I was starting to panic now. When I tried to get up, his hand grabbed my ankle and all I could think about was how I ended up in this Lifetime Movie situation.

"How did you escape?" my therapist interrupted. That’s when the tears broke free and I clutched my sides, hugging myself.

"After I got up," I told him in such agony, "After he grabbed my ankle, he picked me up and threw me out the window."

Beyoncé - Single Ladies SPOOF (Barack Obama)

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Black People


I have viewed a lot over the years and the one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the lack of decency that most black people have. The media shows black people as either being really really wealthy (Real Housewives of ATL) or really really poor (The Wire) but at least in these venues, these people have some tack to them. In reality, it is a completely different story.

On the Light Rail in Sacramento today, I witnessed (as I have on the BART in Oakland) these guys who couldn't be no older than 17-18, blasting a radio with, yes you guessed it, rap. They knew each and every word and on some occasions, were louder than the radio itself. My first thought?

"Is there a part of the stereotype you don't fit into?"

Then I looked around. A white couple sat two rows behind, clinched and tight in their seats praying for their stop to come quickly. I saw a Mexican couple confused cuz they either didn't understand or they never seen a scene like this before. These black guys were obviously oblivious to their surroundings and I got irritated cuz this isn't the first place I have witnessed this kind of thing.

It seems that majority of the black, er, African American customers that I get make me wonder, is this why society doesn't like us? This majority comes in half groomed, attitude, loud and irate for no reason. If anything about their service is wrong, the entire world ends. And the other percent of African Americans who are decent, seem to find it hard to understand why these people act the way they do. No home training? World fucking them over? All I know is that we can NOT use the excuse of slavery any longer since, if you think about it, slavery should have made blacks MORE family oriented since that's all we had. But yet, we blame the "man" for holding us back. Society hates us.

Well, look at how you act.
If the majority of black people STOP trying to be Snoop Dogg, Mac Dre, TuPac, Lebron James, Allen Iverson and what have you and MAYBE try aiming for Baracks status, Ron Delums's status, Oprah's status, Martin Luther King's status, we may just be a better people. Life isn't all about fucking, smoking and rapping as you walk down the street without headphones. Use that talent for retaining information to get your degree, to manage a restaurant, to open your own legitimate business and to educate the bad asses that are coming up after us.

Then maybe we will have a hope in the sky. Just maybe....

10 September 2009

Terrell Carter: Covered By "Shade"


So, I was told that what I am blogging about is super old news, but hey, I just heard about it and need to comment on it. I was told that Terrell Carter is indeed gay and the only way the world would've found out about it is through his ex who decided to go and post on the web pictures of them together in positions that couples would be in. (No sex pics so get your mind out the gutter.) Now, lets get down to the nitty gritty.

First, if I see Alex Cortez anywhere on the street I will personally push him down the stairs myself. Even though I am an out and proud gay man, I hate dirty, yes dirty, queens who feel the need to engage revenge on their ex boyfriends closeted status by outing them. I mean, are you jealous that he found someone ALOT more attractive than you? Alot more emotionally stable than you? Society and the down low society already hates the gay (out) community enough and by showing how immature and idiotic you can be really fuels people who SUPPORT prop 8. Especially if said exboyfriend is a celebrity. Why do you think gay stars stay within their work?

Secondly, I will always be a fan of Terrell not because he is one of me, but because he had real talent and real ambitions unlike the ball gays and the street queens who's goal get no farther than the next "major" ball or next Black Gay Pride. I am just sorry that his "Out"ing wasnt as he wanted it and that more things will come his way in the future. Bigger and better.

When all else fails, he will at least have one fan here in California.